It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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