My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize