I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
