Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
