I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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