Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize