those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
