I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
