wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
