FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
