Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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