Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
