you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
