my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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