Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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