found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
