I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
