I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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