Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
