He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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