i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
