just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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