you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
