I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
