Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
you never un-have a 4some
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
