Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
