Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
