I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
