he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
