You work out of a Hotel?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
