I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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