My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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