So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize