Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
