It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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