NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
