yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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