I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
