Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
