Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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