I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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