I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
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you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
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How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself