Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.