I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.