your thong is hanging out like whoa
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
