Hey man sorry I got all grabby
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
