It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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