farters have to be the big spoon...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
