woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
