Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
