...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
