6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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