I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
