Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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