hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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