we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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