The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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