We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
