just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Randomize
