i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
