Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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