If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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