you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
this hospital has no fireball
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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